Leading Beyond Perfection: How Human-Centred Leaders Can Overcome Perfectionism
Leading Beyond Perfection: How Human-Centred Leaders Can Overcome Perfectionism
If you’re a leader who cares deeply about your people, your work, and doing things right, there’s a good chance perfectionism is part of your story.
You’re not alone.
Perfectionism—the drive to avoid mistakes and meet impossibly high standards—is common among conscientious, empathetic leaders. While it can drive excellence, it often comes at a cost: burnout, risk-aversion, and a subtle erosion of trust and innovation in teams.
The Problem with “Flawless”
In her book The Right Kind of Wrong (2023), Harvard professor Amy Edmondson distinguishes between different kinds of failure:
Preventable failure: mistakes in known, routine processes.
Complex failure: missteps in unpredictable situations.
Intelligent failure: thoughtful experiments that generate learning.
Perfectionists tend to fear all failure, even when it’s the intelligent kind—the type that’s necessary for learning and progress. This fear can lead to:
Overwork and burnout from “fixing everything yourself”
Team silence due to fear of blame
Reluctance to take creative risks or try new approaches
For leaders, this means perfectionism doesn’t just affect you—it shapes your entire team's psychological safety and growth trajectory.
Where Perfectionism Hides in Leadership
You might notice it in thoughts like:
“If I don’t stay on top of every detail, everything will fall apart.”
“I can’t show uncertainty—my team needs me to have the answers.”
“If I let people fail, I’ll look like a weak leader.”
These beliefs are often fuelled by deep values: responsibility, care, integrity. But they can create unsustainable expectations for yourself and others.
What Research Says About Tackling It
Academic research shows that addressing perfectionism requires both mindset and behavioural shifts:
Practice self-compassion. Studies by Kristin Neff and others show that self-compassion—not harsh self-criticism—leads to greater resilience, motivation, and mental health.
Reframe mistakes. Edmondson’s work on psychological safety shows that teams thrive when leaders model openness to failure and see it as a path to learning—not as shame.
Set learning goals, not just performance goals. Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset highlights that when we shift from “I must succeed” to “I want to grow,” we reduce fear and improve outcomes.
Celebrate intelligent failure. When mistakes are made in the pursuit of thoughtful experimentation, name them, normalize them, and extract the lessons.
Strategies You Can Try
Here are three practices for overcoming perfectionism as a leader:
Model fallibility
Say “I got that wrong,” or “Here’s what I learned from that misstep.” Your team will follow your lead.Reward questions, not just answers
Ask: “What did we learn this week?” or “What risks did we take?” instead of only measuring success.Build recovery into your routine
Perfectionism thrives in burnout. Schedule decompression time, delegate, and give others permission to do the same.
Leading with Humanity, Not Perfection
Perfectionism says: Be flawless or be nothing.
Authentic leadership says: Be human—and help others do the same.
Empathetic leaders have a unique superpower: they can transform the culture of failure into one of learning. But only if they start by loosening the grip of perfectionism on themselves.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of having to get it all right, maybe it’s time to rethink what “right” actually means.
Want support navigating perfectionism in your leadership? I’d love to connect. Coaching can offer a powerful space to rewire perfectionism into courage, compassion, and clarity.
👉 Let’s talk about how coaching could help.
